What to do on my own?

Unsurprisingly, I could not find a job. I was offered to go for a hostess's work - so I wrote a curt email in time to the agency which organised the job (although I did not like the self-confident and man who represented the company when I was registered).
This aversion must had been mutual. I should have called them on the phone, but I thought as I did respond via e-mail, I would get the work, so I somehow forgot about it.
As they did not send an answer, I called them on the last evening what I spent working with Dolores. The afore-mentioned man answered my call, but he was, of course, unwilling to help.
"It is Sunday afternoon... Please let's be normal" he said angrily, with much despise.
I was fed up with being humiliated by stupid people.
I went home alone.
A few days before, when I visited Vanda, she did suggest me to go to Ireland with my colleague, but I was not enthusiastic. I preferred to be a tramp in Budapest than in Dublin - at least I have known the rules of the first city, and had a place to live, did not have to get on with strangers, Dolores's friends (who were, judging by her description, not the most decent persons of the world). The other sublessee had her own room, she was sometimes a bit annoying, and disturbing to have a stranger in the flat when I wanted to be alone - but otherwise, the apartment was a comfortable one. That evening, I was definitely glad about my decision.

I sat down in my room, musing what did I do so wrong. I reflected the events of the last few months - and I did not like what I could see.
Practically, nothing succeeded what I intended to do. I wanted to work as a luxurious courtesan - it was not hard to see that the true reason of my failure was my unwillingness. I tried to convince myself that it was all right, I did much worse things in my private life than giving pleasure to a stranger and gain money from it... but, while I did know that it would be a comfortable and well-paid job, I hated it deep inside. I felt humiliating that any man can insult me or give orders to me.
Many people have said that, judging by the hatred what I harbour for men, I must be a lesbian. I was truly surprise why do they think I was a lesbian or a feminist. I did not think I hated men - my criticism against them is absolutely righteous in my opinion. They have a lot of chance to hurt women and they use these chances shamelessly.
Hostess jobs seemed to be a bit more safe. Then again, I was not a cheerful and friendly person to attend a party and entertain the guests. A few years ago, I just wanted to model and never wanted a hostess work - I knew that I would hate it.
Now I did not find so much choice...